Saturday, February 27, 2010

#72 Stupid prison thoughts

Stupid prison thoughts

It is about 11:30pm as I watch Kentucky and Kansas lose, and Syracuse win big, this college season is getting really interesting…but I digress.

Tonight I was checking out some blogs and post I wrote on other sites in the past, some over 2 years old, and I ran across one that caught my eye, and one I am going to have to bear fangs over.

Those of you who are new to my blogs may not understand what “bearing fangs” means. That means if I am pissed off about a subject, I will cut loose, and because this is MY blog, I can say what I want. I don’t kiss butt on anybody’s site, I am not afraid to say what I feel needs to be said on some situations. This is what people at Prison Talk never liked about me, and other sites as well. But tonight I am bearing fangs, so watch out.

Tonight I am talking about some idiot on a site on prison place, a site that has posted a lot of my blogs and posts. I wrote a blog about condemnation for those who have served their time, and it, as most of my blogs are, was lengthy. I read some of the comments after it, and one dated about a year or so ago made a comment about how this person (the writer of the comment) was trying to come up with funding to help ex felons get jobs…ok, that sounds nice, need more people like that. The person appeared to really like my post.

But this this moron says that they won’t read any more of my blogs because I didn’t reveal WHY I went to prison…in fact, the person called me a coward for not identifying why I went to prison.

I read the comment and I could just feel wolf fangs growing out of my mouth. I made a comment on the post, and posted it, although I am not sure if that same person is still a member of prison place…it was over a year ago. If they are, then I DARE that person to open their mouth and say something…because I am about to retaliate as to how STUPID that remark was.

First off, when I blog, I share what I want to share, not what some nosy idiot EXPECTS me to share. If a person takes the time to share what he can to help, there ought not be some self-righteous ingrate that feels that I OWE more than I am sharing. This is a major problem with ex felons and their acceptance back into society. People like that idiot are actually looking for a sin in a person that is confessing.

What this person’s brainless argument is simply is, “so what did you do time for?” But tell me this folks…what does it matter? Too many times people who are curious are looking for ways to damn other people, even further than necessary.

I gave one example before while I was on Prison Talk, how I was answering a lot of questions from members who saw that I wanted to help. I get a private message from one lady who seemed nice, and asked me how long I was in prison. I didn’t think much of it, so I told her. Seemed like it would be harmless. I mean to me, it does not matter if you did 2 years or 20 years, if you did time, you know what prison is like.

But days later on one of my posts, this same lady jumps on my post and criticizes me because “her man” did more time than me, so therefore she knows more about prison than I do. It caused a stink and ended up being yanked off the site. I thought by sharing personal info like that could not hurt, I mean, after all, I am here to help. But the very info I shared was used against me by some idiot who had nothing better to do than look for a reason to argue.

This is similar to what the person on Prison Place is doing. By their belief, I am a coward because I am not telling her ( I say “her” because 99% of all people on prison support sites are women) what she wants to know. Yet I cannot see one benefit under God why this helps her in any way, shape or form…in fact, it will only be used to condemn me. If this idiot was so head-strong in wanting to know WHY I did time, she is also foolish enough to judge me for whatever I did time for.

And to many people, this seems harmless, but I say to you, it isn’t. I mean, what charge could I give you that would be acceptable for you to say, “hey, that’s not so bad”? Even if I shared such info, the next question a person would ask is the details of the charge, if they have not condemned me already.

Consider, what if I told you I did time under DUI? Then you would judge me as a drunk. What if I told you I did time as a drug dealer? Then you would judge me as a senseless thug. What if I told you I did time under a white collar crime? Then you would label me a con artist. What if I told you I did time for indecent liberties? Then you would label me a child molester? What if I told you I did time for manslaughter? Then you would call me a murderer.

None of those instances would help me at all, and only give you ammunition to condemn me, when that is the LAST thing you should be doing. The mere fact that this lady called me a coward shows that she was clearly out to condemn me anyway. Sometimes folks, you can be to nose for your own damn good.

And regardless of what people say, society WILL actively condemn you, even if you are doing good deeds. I can give you an example based on my life. A year or two ago, I got an email from a local newspaper at the last camp I did time, in Yanceyville, North Carolina. Somehow, an editor of the local paper ran across one of my blogs online, and contacted me to do a story of ex felons trying to make good in society after their release.

Well, that sounds great. I mean, if it helps, why not?

So I email the editor back, letting them know I would be glad to help if I can, and asked what they needed to know from me.

I get an email back from them, asking me to explain what I am doing to help those with loved ones in prison, and to validate the story, they needed a picture of me, my full name, the prison I was last in, the nature of my crime, and the place of my employment….

Whoa….that is too much personal info!

I emailed them back asking why they needed so much info, and they said they needed it to make the story believable…that without it there would be no credibility. But to me, it is giving them complete credibility at the expense of me being persecuted.

Even if the newspaper did the story of me in good faith, with no true intent of harming me, the mere fact that my personal info…a former inmate, now in society, would no doubt stir up some of the self-righteous morons that think that “once a con, always a con”. And folks, sadly it ONLY TAKES ONE.

If I was working at Wal-Mart, and agreed to do that story, in good faith, then once that story hits, then my personal information is out for anyone to scrutinize…and persecute. People like that idiot on the site don’t understand how damning that is, when ex felons are just trying to get their lives back together. It does not matter what they did to go to prison, if they did their time, and trying to make amends and get their lives back, that ought to be enough.

But if I was working at Wal-Mart, for example, and some self-righteous snob read it, they might get upset that “criminals” are getting jobs that “good citizens” deserve. If that person, or people wrote to Wal-Mart, enclosing the article, with my info, what do you think Wal-Mart will do?

They’ll fire me for no other reason but public image.

You think I am kidding…but it has happened to me before.

Even if the attempt by the newspaper was in good faith, the second it is printed, that same info can be viewed by others as offensive, and will seek to persecute this ex felon simply because they feel that it is there God-given right to do so. And if I lost my job because of it, the BEST that newspaper could say was, “I’m sorry”.

Do you understand how stupid all this is?

Do you understand how damning this is?

Apparently that lady on the site doesn’t. So to her, I am a coward for not “laying on the cross” for her amusement. I say this in strong words, because what this lady wants me to do, and ever ex felon, is to continually nail themselves to a cross so that society can persecute them. Now, if this sounds too strong for you, then you have not fully understood the depth of condemnation, and how silly it is for some people to think that they have a right to expect me to help YOU condemn me again.

Folks, what I did time for is not important, the fact that I DID time is, because it gives me insight on telling you what I have gone through. I don’t ask you to tell me the nature of your loved’s ones crimes when you email me, because it has no impact on how I respond. So many times we are so damned convictive that we just have to get all in people’s personal business, not just out of curiosity, but with an inner motive to condemn. I wrote a blog awhile back called, “Confess your sins, so we may hang you”. Its kinda like those Salem Witch Trials. If a person suspected you of being a witch, they would test you by several ways. One was to take the accused into deep water, and tie a huge rock to their neck, and then toss it in the water. The test was simple:

If you floated, then you were obviously a witch, and were burned.

But, if you sank, you were innocent…but dead.

The irony was that these people doing these foolish things really felt they were doing it “in the name of God”…and they could not be more wrong.

Not much has changed today, has it? Same accusations, just a different time. Awhile back, one of my readers shared an article with me about a guy who did time in prison, and after he got out, he had a decent job working with the city. But when some people found out that he was an ex felon, they complained about it, saying that there were more “worthy” people that should have that job, rather than that ex felon.

See…little has changed.

I am not afraid to tell you the nature of my charge, but with it goes a very somber story, something I personally don’t think the nosy reader has a right to know. The fact that even the judge saw there was some glaring holes in the case against me, and how it reflected in my sentence, implies much more…but that is not your business to know…not yet.

And if a person is offended with that…so what? I didn’t come here to bear my complete soul so some self-righteous idiot can stick more daggers in my heart. Those kinda people don’t give a flip about me anyway, nor anybody else. I wonder how sincere this lady truly would be in her so-called efforts to help ex felons, if she is so distraught with me not telling her what she wants to know about me? Does she REALLY care, or is she just out to get government funding for a bogus charity.

One of the strongest forms of love is to do so REGARDLESS of the past of a person. If you are so concerned about the details of a person’s past, you will never have room in your heart for that person. You will always keep them at arm’s length, and never truly help them from your heart. I say again, what does that misguided lady think to gain by knowing every detail of my incarceration? And apparently, since she decided not to read my blogs anymore, she WON’T know anymore about me.

To anybody who has ever emailed me before…have I ever gotten too personal with you, asking the details of your loved one’s sentence and charge? If you have a son that is doing time for indecent liberties…did I ever ask you about that? Now, some people have emailed me and given me some details of their loved ones, but I continually stress to them that this is not necessary for me to try to help. The problem about having too much info is that we as humans are too stupid to keep them in check. Too much info is often the temptation to condemn.

I don’t care about Tiger Woods’ personal problems, but don’t get me wrong. I hope he comes back to true form soon, better than ever, and I truly hope he can save his marriage. But trust me when I say this, I do not care about the tabloid crap that the media keeps throwing out there. All this causes humanity to cast judgment on a man that, up until that point, had done TREMENDOUS help for charities and people.

But now, in just a couple of months, people look at him as a lowlife…completely unfair to him…I asked this on another blog, but I will ask it here… how many people here are perfect?

Raise your hands….


Anybody out there perfect, with no flaws in their life, nor any sin?

None…I thought so.

So stop condemning others! We all live in glass houses.

For ex felons, it is much easier to condemn because most info is public intel, and I believe a strong reason why it is so hard for an ex felon to secure a good job. Oh he can get one, but all it takes is one person who just don’t like ex felons at all, and that person can lose his job with no fault of his own…I say again, I know this because I have been a victim of it. In fact, more than once.

So I blog about what I can, and I bear enough of my soul so that you can get an idea of what I have gone through, and what I GO through. I mean, even this blog is an example of what life is after prison, and sometimes it shows how people who are in prison support circles, and even those who call themselves “Christians” are the worst enemies of those trying to get their lives back.

About a year or so ago, I was blogging on a similar issue and got an email from a grandmother who knew what I was going through, because her grandson was having a hell of a time trying to adjust. She told me how he tried to get a job, but when people found out that he was an ex felon, they let him go, and it was difficult for him to get a decent job. It’s a cruel reminder that society in general does not have the heart to forgive…and we call ourselves “one nation under God…”

Yet this grandmother did something that touched me. She asked me to not give up, and to please keep blogging about my life, because she followed it a lot. She sent me a card a week later, with $5, and a special note, “just to encourage you for today”. The fact that she took the time to care, send a card, and money touched me almost to tears. How could I not keep writing if there are people like that out there?

Those are the people I try to help, not the ones who think I OWE them something…because I don’t. But if you have emailed me before, you know I will do my very best to help if I can. I don’t do it for a reward, although I really do appreciate the support I get from time to time. I do it because my heart is set on trying to help those with loved ones in prison. For that reason, I blog as much as I do.

So for that person who called me a coward…how many cowards have written thousands of pages to help others? I can imagine that person wrote just a handful, and stopped after that. Anybody can write for a few days, or a couple of months. I have been writing posts and blogs off and on since about 2002...about eight years. Don’t you DARE call me a coward until you write as much as I have.

Anyways, I have said enough for now, even with a throbbing headache, I had to write this out. I hope you guys understand my feelings. Anyway, until next time…

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