#107 Prison talking: criticize or shut up

Prison talking: to critique or to shut up

Well today is Monday and I just got back from doing a promise I gave a week ago. If you read that blog awhile back, you know that last week I promised the owner of a Christian supply store that I would write him an ad to use (if he so chose). But I wanted to do more than just write a simple 30 second ad, I wrote a thesis on why I felt the ad could work.

Hey, you KNOW I like writing….

So I wrote about 7 pages, talking about the steps he could take not just with the ad, but which stations to advertise with, and other campaigns. It really didn’t take me a week to write it, I probably could have done it in one day, but there was also the basketball games too…

So today I had to check the Weather Channel because we had rain earlier, and I needed to see if I could still get to the mall and give the guy the info I promised him. I managed to have some clear skies and walked to the mall to deliver the intel. I got back home about an hour later, and decided to check my emails.

I wrote a blog yesterday about the idea of having “clients”, where I could kinda be their personal coach through some tough times. I talked about how one person actually hired me, so to speak, to help her get through this tough time. That means I make it an effort to keep in touch with her, answer her questions FIRST, or blog about them to help her out. Seems there are a couple of you interested in that as well, as I got another email from someone asking me about those details.

I emailed her back, and while the whole idea is kinda light-hearted, maybe this is getting more of a real opportunity for me. I mean, if people read my blogs and feel that I can help them, and want to “hire” me as a coach or personal helper to write about prison issues, or help them write a letter to the judge, or a parole proposal or things like that, well, that is cool. I mean, if a person wants to pay me to do that, that is great, so I am all for it. Maybe I will get some more requests this week. Maybe that new computer is coming faster now than ever.

Ok, now lets talk about this title.

This title comes from a situation I had on a prison support site recently, and one that always ticks me off. I really hate it when you try to make a constructive post, and one jackass feels like it is their God-given right to try to “correct” me in what I am saying.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying I am right in everything I say, but when a person makes a comment on MY post to criticize what I am saying, especially on a so called PRISON SUPPORT site, then I have issues.

The post I shared I think was called, “When will society accept ex felons”. If you have not read that, look for it on this blog. Not sure when I posted it, so you might have to backtrack a bit.

The blog was about the difficulty of ex felons who try to get their lives back, but are often held in continual condemnation from society. Now I made it clear that this does not go for every ex felon, some guys get out and don’t care about anybody, but many guys just want a chance to get their lives back. But sadly, the general public does not believe that so much.

Anyway, you’ll have to read the article, or if you email me I will point you to it. Well, this jerk who calls themselves “myhopeisinhim” (ironic name for an idiot), got on my post and criticized that I should not blame “us” who are trying to help but in the end the ex felon ends up messing up anyway, and stealing their trust.

Her opinion was based on how she claims that she tried to help an ex felon, but he didn’t want to change, and how she felt that she was lied to by the guy. Her examples were based on fallen men, and yet she dared to try to get religious and talk about God and this and that…

Funny that…some of the WORST people to help ex felons have been, sadly, Christians. Take it from one who knows…

(Note: that does not mean ALL Christians, because some of my best help and support came from those who were Christians.)

Her argument seemed to be based on some idea that most ex felons won’t change and that they need to get their lives right with God first, before they can get their lives back. Now I agree in THEORY with some of that, but she made a comment that I do not agree with.

She said something about one of the ex felons who is living a decent life, but she claims he is more carnal, while the another guy, who did time, who is following God, is having a little struggle getting a job and paying bills like he wants to.

To her, that is the way to go. She believes that material needs should not come before God, so if a person is trying to make money, then they are not “in line” with God.

I made a comment that while I agree with some of her ideas, I don’t fully agree with the comment about material needs. We are human beings, and as such we are carnal, and made of flesh. Because of that, there comes with that the absolute NEED of material things, which in most cases have to be satisfied BEFORE the spiritual needs.

She did not agree, and continued to criticize my post.

Now folks, you see what is happening? My post, originally made to help encourage, has now become a war zone of words, which completely undermines the idea of prison support. I noticed that this “myhopeisinhim” had at the time ONLY two posts…both of them on my post. When a person starts out on a group by criticizing, that is never a good sign. Its like having a meeting, and a new member starts whining 5 minutes into the meeting. Those are the ones you need to kick out on their butts!

My first impression was to go back and argue my point, because it is MY post, and I have a right to defend what I say. But I realize if I go back and add my point, the idiot will just come back and run her mouth some more. I learned this from Prison Talk, and how the moderators were foolish enough to allow the same things. One moderator in the NC forum was so moronic on this that I swore to never post there again.

But this creates problems that people don’t think about. They call sites like this prison support, but in every such site there is always one jerk that wants to make a name for themselves by spitting on somebody else’s post. But you will notice that those same people never start a conversation, they are always looking to put their two cents in somebody else’s post.

A warning to people like that who make comments on other people’s posts, don’t do that. A warning to that lady who made those stupid comments on my posts…as a writer, I will ALWAYS get the last word. You can’t outright me, because if you write 2 pages, I will write 5. If you write 5, I will write 8. If you make a post on a site, I will make 5 posts on my blogs. I am not afraid to bear fangs on my blogs, as many of you know.

And to answer that question about material and spiritual things, I disagree with that lady because if you do not satisfy the flesh, you cannot get to the spirit. What I mean by that is very simple, if the basic needs of man is not met, he cannot prosper in the spirit.

Example: A poor man with no home walks the streets, having not ate in a full day. A Christian walks past him, and he asks the person for a couple of dollars to buy a meal, or something to eat. The Christian says, “are you saved?”, to which the person says “no”. The Christian then says, “do you go to church”? The poor man says “no”. The Christian then says, “I can preach the Word to you, if you have time”, to which the poor man admits he is too hungry to pay attention to a sermon.

The Christian says to the man, “I will pray for you” and walks off.

Ten minutes later an atheist walks by the hungry man, and the poor man asks for a couple of dollars. The non-believer says to him, “I don’t have much, but will $3 do?”. He gives the beggar some money, and goes about his way. The poor man manages to buy some food and have something to eat.

Now, here is my question……….

Who did the greater good?

The answer is very obvious. The man who fed the poor man did the greater good, by far! It does not matter that he was an atheist, he still had the idea in his heart to help a fellow man, yet the Christian was so stuck up on being self-righteous that he completely forgot the charge that every Christian should carry…love thy neighbor.

How much love was shown when that person refused to feed a hungry person? NONE. Yet that same person will sit in the front pew saying “Amen” and “Thank you Jesus”, when the dropped the ball to do something for a fellow person.

Sometimes we get so blind in being self righteous that we forget to help the person in front of us. Its ironic at times that some of the most difficult people to deal with are self-righteous people, and ironically some of the people quickest to rush to the aid of mankind are those that are not “full fledged” Christians.

Case in point…after the earthquakes in Haiti, how many “secular” people rushed to the aid of those victims? How many “Christians” did the same? This is not to say that NO Christians helped, I know many did, but if there was a figure on the percentage of money came from Hollywood movies stars, secular music artists and the like, as opposed to Christian men and women, I am very sure the lion’s share would be from the secular genre.

But my point in this lady’s argument is that you can’t force-feed God in anybody, it has to be by their choice, and the choice is encouraged when that person sees that you really care about THEM. If you take the effort to help the hungry, and do it in the name of God, then you are almost sowing a seed in that person that you help. It might not show the first time, or even after 10 times, but if you continue to love and help, eventually it will materialize. This is what that person on my post has missed. An ex felon gets out, messes up, and she throws up her hands and thinks that they are all like that, and then runs behind a Bible and acts like she is talking scriptural.

It would be ideal to have more ex felons give their lives to God, to Christ, and to be better people, but if YOU thought it was as easy as just flipping a light switch, you are sadly mistaken. And to add to that, it might not be YOUR job to help them change. Granted, you might be ONE of 50 people to help that ex felon change, but nobody said that you were singly charged to change a man. We think that if a man does not change by our means, then they are a failure. Not true. A man can fall 100 times and still be redeemable. Unfortunately, most people only give an ex felon one time to slip up, and then we turn our backs on them. Kinda like that vague saying, “just give him to the Lord”. What’s that about? Sounds like lazy talk to me.

If you got that kind energy to cast somebody to God’s feet, maybe you oughta spend some of that energy encouraging that same person, rather than turning your back on them. True, God can help them, but too often Christians think that they don’t have to lift a finger to help a fallen man, because they think God will eventually help them out.

If an ex felon is looking for a job, he will no doubt run across so called Christians, who, in their hearts, know they could either give or find him a job. An ex felon might as a pastor, or a member of a church if they know of any job openings. Sometimes that same person might know of an opening at their own job…but they might think in the back of their minds that maybe it might not be a good idea, because after all, he is ex con. So they lie and tell that person that either they don’t know of one, or they will “keep their eyes open” for one.

It happens so often folks, so very often.

Its almost like many people are conditioned to expect ex felons to fail, so it makes it harder to prove yourself if people won’t give you a chance. All this comes back to what this person said on my post, because she obviously wasn’t talking about anything else. It ticks me off that a person can say something negative on my post, but I have to refrain from “bearing fangs”. Oh well, that’s why I blog, because I can say what I want here.

Anyway, I have chatted enough, got some emails I need to check on, and to get back in touch with that person who wants me to help her, interesting if I start getting “clients” that are willing to work with me in exchange for support. We’ll see. Until then…